As I wrote my most recent blog post titled “The Human Nature of Contradiction,” I briefly commentated on the action of disregarding and hiding your “shadow self.” Your shadow self refers to the parts of you that you don’t acknowledge or accept—the negative (and sometimes positive) side of yourself that you don’t want others to see. Although I discussed this briefly, I’d like to expand on this topic a little further. Even though we can try to hide and show parts of ourselves, I believe that we have no control over the way we are perceived in the end.
This may seem like a confusing statement at first, but there is a method to my madness. Think of it this way: wars, enemies, and conflict exist. One person might be preaching their own dogma—thousands, if not millions, of people may view that person as their new messiah. Though this may be the case, the same amount of people may view these people as evil while they have their own ideology in mind. This is most definitely a common theme in both ancient and modern-day history. Despite all the faithful efforts, the service, and the propaganda being shown to the masses, there will always be those who won’t fall for it. While that may be a bit extreme, this conversation is still extremely relevant.
All of us live in the age of social media. As you might already know, many people use social media to put their highlights on display while the parts they don't like about themselves or their life stay hidden. Although this may occur, it doesn't change much, because at this point, almost everyone has caught on. I'm no psychologist or sociologist, but I do believe that our perceptions of others are often a reflection of our own self-perception and inner world. Just because you see yourself as something doesn't mean that the other person is able to, because of what they have going on in their life. This leads me to another point: projection.
Projection, projection; does this even need an explanation? We tend to see in others the qualities, flaws, and behaviors that we also possess—either consciously or unconsciously. This can be due to our own experiences, biases, or the need to make sense of the world around us. The fact that a person may project onto another can easily dismiss any mask that the other person tries to wear. Jane Doe may try to seem like a nice person, but someone who isn’t may see this as "fake" or prone to being mistreated. Though that may not be the case, Jane Doe’s true personality has been distorted multiple times: once by herself, and another by the other person. She isn't the person who she is or tries to be because of projection. Because of this, the way people perceive her is entirely subjective.
The point of this whole post is to debunk the myth that people are able to show others a side of themselves that they want them to see. Well, if this is common knowledge, the myth debunks itself, right? If you saw through so many people that you made it to that thought, I think it's worth mentioning that their efforts of deception and hiding of their shadow self are futile. Sure, this may be a petty argument (and I can be a petty person), but I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Deception doesn't always change perception; in fact, most of the time, it doesn't. We live in a world where transparency is valued because society likes to wear masks. But this doesn't mean these masks always work on us.
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